Exploring Married Malay Couples' Conceptions of a Satisfying Marriage: Some Implications for the Education of Family Counsellors

Abstract

The objective of this study was to understand the phenomenon of a satisfying marriage among Malay married couples in Malaysia. It is submitted that a happy marriage starts from the feeling of satisfaction felt by married couples. However, with the rising statistics of marital problems and divorce cases reported in Malaysia, the phenomenon of satisfaction among married couples, the factors that contribute to it, as well as the challenges and ways to overcome them, need to be understood. The research employed a qualitative phenomenological method of enquiry.  Two married couples, consisting of two males and two females, were selected as participants for in-depth one-on-one interviews. They were of different couple profiles, age groups and lengths of marriage that fit into the intended selection criteria. In this study, a satisfying marriage was described through the feelings of peace, tranquillity and calmness, the happiness of family members, the positive feelings felt from the presence of family, the sense of togetherness, strength and support as well as the grateful feeling of having a spouse with commendable attributes. With regard to the factors that contribute to marital satisfaction, four major themes and eight subthemes were identified. The four major themes were “Attitudes and Actions of Spouse”, “Relationship with Others”, “Finance and Career” and “Religion”. The subthemes that emerged from “Attitudes and Actions of Spouse” included “Complementary Roles”, “Respect and Tolerance”, “Physical Intimacy, Bonding and Fulfilment”, “Understanding and Trust”, “Communication,” and “Humor.” Meanwhile, the subthemes that emerged from “Relationship with Others” were “Relationship with Children” and “Relationship with In-Laws and Relatives.” Two major themes emerged in regard to the challenges in achieving a satisfying marriage, which were “Attitude of Couples” and “External Factors.” There are three main highlights in the findings of this study, namely “peace” as an important element in a satisfying marriage, the role of religion in a satisfying marriage, and the existence of gender differences in needs and expectations in a marriage. This study is hoped to be a significant endeavor in creating an awareness on the subject of marital satisfaction in Malaysia. It has implications for education, marriage and family counselling, as well as personal growth, and could serve as a basis for further efforts to promote a more satisfying marital institution.

Keywords: Marital satisfaction, satisfying marriage, marital institution, phenomenology, family counselling